chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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