Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
