Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
