2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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