I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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