Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Randomize
