Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
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