My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
