i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I have grass duct taped all over my body
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
