dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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