I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
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