I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Randomize
