he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
