so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
My dick has a subreddit
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
