You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
do herpes really smell.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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