you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
