Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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