OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
