I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
should my penis look like a turkey
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
