Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Randomize
