I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
