Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
