We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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