he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
