dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
