dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
