how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
