he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
