You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
