My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
