Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
