hell yes lets make some ravioli
well you can't waste a boner
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
