Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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