she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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