remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
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