I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
