imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
