So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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