I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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