my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
