have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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