wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
