"it" just moved
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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