is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
