using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
