The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Randomize
