he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
