I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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