yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
You don't make any sense
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