Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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