we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Randomize
