So drunk its hurt
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
