they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
