It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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