Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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